Thoughts on the world, homeopathy, mindfulness and food...
A collection of blog posts - feel free to respond with your thoughts and comments - I love to have feedback - thank you!
What would you do if you really loved yourself? It was a question that came to me out of an interesting space, but catalysed much reflection. My interesting neighbour, the one who isn't my biggest fan, was walking past a year or so ago and amongst other things, shouted 'There it is that f***ing narcissist'. Being there was no one else around, and based on our history there was only really one direction this was aimed in. I was being pretty narcissistic that day, sat in our garden, on our bench, working on a case and reading several books relating to it. By this stage not much surprised me and had she have done that at the beginning of our quest I may have responded very differently. However we were several years in by this stage and mostly I was able to ignore and continue. Bless and block was a notion I devised early in my twitter days when skeptics popped up with some (usually not so) intelligent comments about homeopathy being nonsense. Bless and block. Move on by. The blessing part I attribute to Pierre Pradervand's amazing book The Gentle Art of Blessing, which over the years I've recommended to many people. Her statement made me ponder. How would I behave if I was as accused? Or, I toned it back a bit, I really loved myself. I went upstairs and pranced around in the mirror trying on the idea (I'm not so sure how that was my first step to what being a narcissist was like but anyway, bear with!). Like so many of us, I can be much easier on the compassion for others than myself and working with Kristin Neff's Fierce Self Compassion work was eye opening, and beautiful. And why it's not taught in schools I don't know... well I have my theories but let's not get on a soap box today. Maybe a small one... if we felt great about ourselves, perhaps we wouldn't need that new this or that, shiny whatever (at least to the degree that we're encouraged by massive advertising and marketing campaigns). Perhaps we'd have a world filled with less economic growth as we grew in our loving ourselves capacity? If someone has to spend a lot of money to encourage us we need it, do we really need it or does it benefit someone else (sometimes massively) for us to need it? Anyway, if we felt loved by ourselves would we be kinder, more compassionate when we made 'mistakes'? Would we feel kinder to our planet, more able to show love all round? I'm convinced our wee world needs love, not saving. To fall in love deeply with our world may change how we respect it. Would we carve out great valleys to mine minerals and not repair them, leave them as giant scars on our landscape if we were deeply in love with it or would we take every effort, even if we mined, to repair an area to be better than before we turned up? I'm reading the epic journey covered in The Earth Beneath my Feet and On Sacred Ground by Andrew Terrell currently. His 7000 mile journey through Europe (Italy to Norway) is inspiring of itself, but his philosophy to always leave a camp ground better than he found it is a gentle and powerful message. I imagine that if we were to fall in love deeply with ourselves it may change how kindly we talk to ourselves. It strikes me we often have a 2 part process, we have a thought then harshly judge ourselves for having that thought as we disagree with it, dislike the fact we thought it or don't think we should have thought it. What if we let go of the second part, and accepted it was just a thought. Besides, there'll likely be another one along in a nanosecond or two. I've another postcard that says 'What's the kindest thing I can do for myself right now?' It's a great message, and I've started playing with changing it to 'What's the kindest thing I can say to myself right now?' What would you say if you were really in love with yourself? It probably wouldn't be a harsh judgement delivered with venom. You might get dressed in gorgeous clothes, not because you felt you needed to cover some flaw or feel more confident, just because you loved the print of the fabric, loved the feel of the skirt against you, or the shorts, or whatever else. You might dance in the kitchen, the bathroom, the bedroom, the street. You might walk straighter, smile more (because of course those in love smile...) at yourself and others, be more compassionate if you did something you hadn't planned to (formerly known as a mistake, now perhaps we could gently call it it a mis-step? or even an unplanned experience?). It might be different. Things might feel different. I think out of all the comments over the last 5 years of my dealings in this situation, this is the one I'm most grateful for. Plenty of times I rallied, moaned, allowed myself to feel a victim, and yet freedom lay in none of that. I was in my own mental prison. This one catalysed such a helpful thought process. Yes I might have had some vile things verbally thrown at me, but none worse than things I'd said to myself over the years. It's only this morning on writing this that I realise the question 'What would it be like if you really loved yourself?' puts me in mind of a quote my beautiful friend Amelia sent me years ago. The wisdom of Ralph Waldo Emerson... What Is Success Would we care for opinions we don't care for? Would we take them on board ourselves or be happy someone else could think differently to us and that was OK? Would we be able to listen with respect and counter with our thoughts? Would we feel more resilient, more reassured that whilst we could lose love, we wouldn't stop loving ourselves? Would we be more easily able to sit in that difficult space and as Rangan Chatterjee says 'invite social friction everyday'? I think that's all from me for today. But what would it be like? Anything we can imagine we can create... Thank you for reading and being. With love, for you, for myself, for this beautiful world we live with, Em x
0 Comments
It strikes me, on watching this video by Dr John Campbell: that perhaps his tangents here are as important as the main content of the video. I like his measured delivery, well reasoned arguments and calm logic, but there is a certain chill that runs through this one. Images of mass conforming, and may happen when you don't conform.. along with this image (screen grab from his video above). I failed to get the shot as a clear shot, but think the red line perhaps accentuates the words. When we're told to look away, or look a certain direction, it's interesting to ask why or what we're not being shown perhaps. Especially significant as I watched it after a recent Russell Brand video highlighting links between government and Big Tech, it felt an important message to remember.
I've heard several times of Drs who were told, 1st week in training, that all the other 'alternative' stuff out there is nonsense and don't pay any attention to it. Which feels relevant given that my week started with someone who'd struggled for 6 years with chronic catarrh. Going through packs of tissue every week, describing her snot as 'all day everyday'. She had ear problems, would be in pain with flying. Hearing wasn't as good as it used to be. She couldn't smell anything. She had 2 surgical interventions. And was still struggling. 10 months of us working together, she'd been improving impressive amounts at each follow up and yesterday she stated that she was 99% better. What was the phrase she was told? Along the lines of 'there's nothing can be done'. Whilst it might be someone's truth, it's certainly been disproved of being THE truth. She was told her smell wouldn't come back. The nerves had been damaged. Three days ago, she reported to me, she'd smelt 5 different smells - mint, onions, a man's aftershave, cauliflower and washing powder. She was told her smell wouldn't come back. Also now, no hearing issues. No pain on flying. No crackling in her ears. Hearing fine. One tissue to blow her nose on a morning. No waking in the night feeling that she was drowning in snot. No cough/having to clear throat. No constant snot all day everyday. On a theme relevant to John's video, I've seen another case today where there wasn't hope given. She's passionate about sharing her tale and I'll share more later, as she's going to write something for me. But enough to say things have gone from a few seizures a day at times to a couple of seizures in a month. Tics massively reduced. To having hope and at times even feeling a sense of joy. Her words? 'It's been transformative'. I'm grateful to have been able to witness the changes for her. So often even if someone else doesn't know of it, there may be something that can be done. Don't give up. Do not let anyone tell you there are things you should not learn or know. This year I cancelled my birthday, and it was an absolute liberation. I love birthdays. I may have said here before, it was the only day I would ever get a rounder whilst playing rounders at school. It's always been a joyful, lucky kind of day for me. For my 40th I had an 11 month celebration, from September through to August. This year, after something of a disaster night out as a birthday treat, I decided to not celebrate, recognising that it was the expectation of it, that it would be fun and joyful that was as much my challenge as the actual events that occured. So I refunded the price of the tickets to my boyfriend, and advised people close to me I wasn't celebrating. In a good way. I was really happy about doing it differently. The expectations we have and also those of the world around us intrigue me. The shops are filling up with Christmas things we need to buy to decorate our homes, things we need to purchase as presents, and birthdays can be much the same. The expectation that we need to go, buy, do I'm questioning. I love to celebrate and I feel like I've celebrated September this year really well. I feel happy about it all, and that the letting go of how something should be has enabled me to feel more joy about how it is. A friend made me the chocolate cake I'd been craving. Another gifted me a sound bath session. Another gifted me a night of her company with the intent to get something twice that didn't happen for various reasons. The driving together was a joy. My partner and daughter got me a bat that I'd kept on about wanting in our garden. Simple. Beautiful. Perfect. I had lunch out, dinner out and it seemed there was less cancelling than I had planned... but there was a lot of letting go and serious appreciating of what there was. I feel like I'm still reflecting on the lessons learnt and I'm sure I'll attach to plenty of things in the future and need to re-learn it, that's being human I guess, but it has been a brilliant catalyst to some great experiences. I'm in the process of changing how I do Christmas and I am LOVING that too. It's so rich and abundant with experiences, meeting people, learning and growing. In a literal sense - one of my changes is creating a wide flowering border for my parent's Christmas present. My dad had 'sort the garden' on his list and was getting a little stressed it wasn't how he wanted, so I took to going and helping out with weeding and tidying. Whilst there he mentioned he'd like a herbaceous border in a large border area. So I thought how about I could create that for their Christmas present. I floated the idea and it was a resounding yes. Since starting, I've put out a couple of appeals on Freecycle (seriously loving that site too), and have had offers of hypericum, aqualegia, flowering sweet geranium, blue irises, peonies, cornflowers and shasta daisies so far. I figured it's that gardening tidying season so instead of them going to waste I could find a new home for them. I've met people, dug plants in the pouring rain, chatted, appreciated their generosity and been a part of the community in a different way than if I'd just grabbed a gift from a large store. It's definitely an idea to explore further and the connections and conversations that have come from my few short months of using Freecycle are really valuable to me. I'm a fan of getting people something if I see it and think of them, but something about doing what the shops tell me never quite sits right. So I'm re-exploring how I do that. Exchanging gifts can be a joyful experience, but can also be fraught with not feeling good enough, going into debt and stress about so much of it. So I'm going for homemade, handmade, less. Experiences or doing for someone. Supporting small businesses wherever possible has been a long held intention, that can sometimes fail at the last minute but with some planning I hope to be able to achieve Christmas very different this year. My sister-in-law aka my graphic designer is designing me a poster for a gift for me. There are so many options out there that we can do and give differently, I'm excited to start exploring more, and grateful to those happy to go along the ride with me. Instead of a stock photo, here's a smiling Golden Retriever. You're welcome. Share thoughts if you like - on the smile or the blog, With love, Em Not so much Final Frontiers, Space races, trips to the moon or any of that. More allowing ourselves space. Having space. Not merely bowling, one thing to the next. Space for daydreaming. Space to slow. Space to breathe.
What is it, what isn't it, and why do we need it? And how can we benefit from some space? For me what is making sense is a stopping, a slowing, engaging in activities that take us into a flow state, where time isn't pressured, a relaxing of our nervous system. It strikes me many of us live in the ON position. Until we can't. Whether dis-ease emerges to stop us, another incident or we run ourselves into a wall (thinking more metaphorically), I ponder whether some space could enable us to take a clearer look at how we live our lives. I don't want to get all 'conspiracy theorist' here, but bear with me for a moment; a system that uses its people like machines isn't really going to encourage daydreaming. a system that is preparing children for factory life (we're going back a few years here) could use bells to train them, short breaks, organised activities, feeding them into factory life all primed and ready to respond to cues. A system that wants you to over consume isn't going to want you to stop and think whether you really need that next bigger TV, shinier car, next, next, next. A system that wants you not to think could even advertise mind numbing chemicals that are entirely legal (yup I experimented with alcohol again and that was intriging for me!). Of course I may be way off track and I'm open to that too, but I'm curious how much space we give ourselves, and whilst I'm pondering that, how much space we give nature. I'm curious too about the messages of doom, the lack of hope. In my opinion the planet will likely be fine without us, may start to breathe and recover. We however, are somewhat dependent on this beautiful home we inhabit, and live as if we forget that. Sometimes we even forget to fall in love with it every day. Space probably isn't a constant binge on Netflix (though I can be found enjoying that too and write without judgement, just a tinge of awareness). It certainly isn't wandering around shopping centres - have you ever done that and really looked at people's faces? I have recently in our back to school quest and it looks like people are tolerating it, not enjoying or gaining happiness from it. Compare it to the faces of people out in nature and I think we soon recognise where we might find some space for ourselves. Why do we need space? Why can't we just be ON all the time? We do have amazing bodies and minds that tolerate so much, but this world surrounded by technology can have its price. Electric lighting is simply incredible but when we burn the candle at both ends, just because we can; does that lead to greater health or harm? I simply don't believe we're ready for this. So we have to take charge, investigate a way we can be without breaking - both ourselves and our planet. Our world needs some space too. In much the same way as we do. Clean air, clean water, space to breathe. Space to fall in love with life, ourselves and the world around us. There's something I'm musing over at the moment about the spaces in between too. In my work, I remain silent at times in cases, and valuable information often comes from that space. The spaces in between fields and the areas outside are often fertile with wildflowers, insects (perhaps in a more ideal farming system than a giant monoculture that we're becoming more used to) and creatures. The spaces between different opinions fascinate me. Those conversations with others who have opposing views, taking the time and space to sit and listen and not need to be right. Space. Good for us and for our beautiful planet. Perhaps. Or maybe that's just me. I'd love to know what you think, Em x The fast paced world is something I muse on, something sometimes I feel stuck in, something I'm aware my body is no longer really up for. It amuses me further that I work in a field considered alternative, a field aware that this fast paced world suits few of us; yet still I try to push it. The programming is strong.
At a time, years ago, when I claimed Tax Credits and for a short time Housing Benefit, that feeling was intensified. I should be doing everything I should to do more, be more, have more. I feel it now if I sit in the middle of the day and watch something mindless, and at times it takes my partner to point out that I'm always on the go and sitting in the mid-week daytime is totally OK and to get over myself. He phrases it way better than that, but that's the drift. How we do enough to pay the bills (buying food, and organic food in particular, is important to me), slow, make those meaningful connections instead of surface ones our modern world seems to have a-plenty and have time for ourselves is something that intrigues me. In my former life as a single parent it was particularly challenging. Sharing the bills, tasks around the home and the rest now means I can breathe more easily, but I'm mindful just how many out there don't have this luxury. How far removed from communal living our society encourages us to go. For the purposes of what? Growth? For the machine, for the capitalist system we live with. Growth without stopping in our body has a special name, at times so feared some won't say the word and instead call it 'the C word'. Not the see you next Tuesday one; cancer. Not healthy for us, so I'm unsure how we think it can possibly be healthy for the planet. And yet the answer from the powers that be seems to be we need to do more, have more, be more, just do it greener. What about slowing? Consuming less? Growing less? Growth for growth's sake. That said, growing more food for ourselves could be a good plan. Growth is sometimes great. Anyway, as usual I digress. Reading two books (well, listening to one) at the same time is nothing new to me - often there's several on the go at the same time. I love it when they sync together, as the latest two have done. On Audible I've enjoyed Rest is Resistance by Trisha Hersey. There's an interview with her here which gives an insight, though I recommend the book strongly to anyone who has ever been close to burnout, experienced burnout, felt exhausted with the system or has an inkling something is not quite right. It's thought provoking, challenging in parts and simply brilliant. In my opinion and as the queen of my website I'm happy to share that here. My opinion. And this book. Alongside that, also from Amazon, but this time a self published work, 18 Months by Claire Sheffi. I first met Claire through our local triathlon club, and she's a delightful, engaging woman who has a great handle on beautifully expressed joy, in particular, though not exclusively, from the natural world around us. Juxtapositioning brilliantly for me alongside Rest is Resistance, Claire explores how something felt not right for a long time for her, and the book shares her steps to find a way of living that's more in tune with what she feels. She has some outstanding reviews on the book with one critical one (the reviewer didn't like her views on a recent global situation). I'm currently loving sharing views with others who oppose them, having conversations that challenge me, reading books that push me (I confess I nearly gave up on after his moan about a fabulous company owned a friend of my partner's). Anyway, whilst I might not resonate with views in some books, I feel there is so much to learn from those with other opinions to me. This book, 18 Months, I found a joy to read. I found myself wanting to go to bed early to snuggle down and devour it. That funny feeling of doing that whilst wanting it to last too. A sequel? Yes please. And yes too, as one review mentions, there are some typos, but I'm always bemused how some professionally published books do too. I think I've missed a career as a proof reader - or maybe just not yet begun it. Not that I've never spotted one on a re-reading of my blog... There is so much beauty, so much tranquility described, seeing the world through different eyes is a gift in itself. You could read parts of it alongside Alaister Humphries' Microadventures book. Claire describes trips to the Lake District on mini adventures, with others or with her Twatterdale (a gorgeous companion - not entirely unlike Hairy McLairy from Donaldson's Dairy). I won't go on too much, but to say go and read it. Thank you to Claire for sharing, for being vulnerable, and I hope many people get to read this almost meditative work on slowing, on being more connected to the natural world. I borrowed a friend's copy, but wanted to purchase one especially as it's a self published work, so have bought one to gift to a friend. The book made me smile, made me nod along, made my world a more reflective space. For all that I am grateful. |
AuthorI'm a Homeopath working in the Skipton (North Yorkshire) area. I am also able to offer food intolerance testing using Kinesiology and advice around diet and lifestyle. |
07734 861297
[email protected] Em Colley Homeopath Practitioner of Classical Homeopathy BSc(Hons) Psychology and Neuroscience Laughter Yoga Leader Focussed Mindfulness Practitioner |