Thoughts on the Survival Plan

Having written the title, I'm not sure if it sounds overly dramatic, but that's what I've been musing over the past few days.

I'm not a huge 'self care' fan. Not that we shouldn't be looking after ourselves, not that we're not important, please don't get me wrong here. But we ideally build a life that we don't need to escape from. We create something that fits us well, that has our needs met as well as everyone else's. Sometimes far easier said than done. Especially, I see in practice, for women. Of course it needs to evolve with us, it's not a fixed thing and different phases there's more or less time.

So self care. I fear my dislike is because it's become popular, a term banded about 'oh you need some self care...; what self care do you do?' etc. Maybe I'm just being grumpy, but bear with. For a moment at least. It's not a plaster we can just pop on something. Not something that can fix it all... 

Currently, with the news from both the mainstream, and that of the alternative thinkers - which is actually sometimes more terrifying, I feel there is some damned heavy energy out there. It's sometimes tough coping. I had a real low on Wednesday of this week, deflated, feeling defeated, flat and uninspired to do anything. My partner helped, with a 'come on, get off those channels on Telegram'. Yup. Definitely guilty of devouring anything I can, in an attempt to understand, to know. To act. To educate. But seeing how destructive those urges can be, sitting in a beautiful outdoor space, knowing my need to connect with nature is huge right now. 

And not in a superficial 'I need to connect with nature' way I guess. Not like a plaster I can slap on and it'll all be OK. This is long term. I need to immerse myself. Mostly I currently need to swim. The temperature was 12 degrees C last time I swam, 6am yesterday morning. I was not worrying about Pfizer doing experiments on 6 month old babies then. I could not. I was feeling. Noticing the water around me, observant of only that. Present. Really present in my body. I know many, including my partner who've swum in plenty colder. 10 degrees is about my coldest with my swim suit. 4 is my coldest in a wetsuit, several years ago. 1.6 is my partner's coldest this winter. I aim for winter skin swimming this year. We'll see where that goes. For now, it's cold enough to be aware. Cold enough to be mindful, present, aware of nothing else apart from where I am, in that space.

Swimming is heavily there in my survival plan. Laughter Yoga too. My gorgeous Harmonising Water group. Connecting with like minded souls. Eating nourishing food. Less TV. We've just done Monday - Thursday with no TV. Next week may be similar. Paddle boarding is in the plan. Outside. Being. The survival plan feels like the way forwards. Knowing there is dark, there is pain, but knowing I can still sing, can still feel joy out there. And inside.

Thriving is clearly the way forwards. Sometimes surviving through the dark is enough. Thriving will come again.

With love,

Em