So I've shared my thoughts on this with a few clients and both of them have found it really helpful, so I thought I'd jot a word or two here.

What if your real teachers, the ones who help you do the biggest, most groundbreaking work, aren't the ones you expect?

What if the person with the least spiritual awareness actually has the most and is sent to guide you and teach you?

In other words, what if the real guides to creating the true 'you', the unsuppressed, shining light that you are, are the ones who suppress, who belittle, who make you feel rubbish?

I'm aware I may have lost you here - if your world view doesn't correlate with mine, I think this may be harder to follow. My feeling is that we are here to learn, evolve and grow and we have key meetings along the way with those relevant people. Sometimes the kindred spirits, soul groups, soul mates are included in this group. But I've found the biggest lessons, the most worthwhile growth has come from the darkest times for myself. What if these people are a part of that story too?

So instead of being here to sabotage our peace and calm, they're actually integral to our development on this planet. We learn how to find that inner peace and calm within the crazy times. Which is easier to do - meditate on a mountain or find peace in a hectic family home? I can tell you quickly where I get to a zen place faster. They're part of our growth.

And, a step further, what if they've actually developed more than us, are more of a teacher than we are and so have revisited this earthly realm in order to help us find our way. When I realised that it shifted focus for me. Instead of rallying against, I've been able to feel gratitude for. Instead of rejecting, I wouldn't say I have got as far as welcoming perhaps (I've plenty more room to grow!), but I'm not pushing against so much anymore.

I'd love to know what you think,

Em x

What a year 2016 was for me! Burnout at the start (beautifully recovered from with homeopathic help from my homeopath and supplements, meditation and the outdoors), puppy adventures, many kindred spirits and then my sister's recovery to health from summer onwards.

My mum commented recently how my sister had quoted her brain tumour as such a positive thing that had happened to her. And that it had changed her. Mum also mentioned I have changed too. It's impossible not to I suppose, we change all the time. I guess whether it's a positive or negative change is maybe the bit we can choose to influence. 

For me, there's been a letting go, a letting in, a subtle compassion perhaps. I drove today realising that I feel full of joy. There are challenges - I bumped a car, there has been cat wee (lots) to clean up whilst one of the cats has had a protest wee-out at my new eco cat litter (honestly - no one told them I was here to save the world?! Turns out it is effective as a form of protest though, even for the most stubborn minded eco-warriors), as well as everyday life ups and downs with a beautifully strong minded daughter, a dog, 2 cats, a lizard, and a lovely 40-something boy who pops in and out of our lives when work and life allow. But the joy at the little things seems deeper, more raw somehow. I am more touched by the beauty of the trees against the sky, the colours I can see as the sun sets. My nose tickles more often at the beauty in the simple.

My heart feels more open. I feel more alive to the everyday. And more content. Oh my word, so much more contented. I was never going to live here, was always going to be somewhere more exciting, and yet somehow circumstances meant here I am. Gently, happily here for now.  And I muse over my view on the world, on how I feel we're here playing a learning game. Discovering how it is, who it is, to be human. Having all those experiences (even the ones I've found uncomfy, hated and rallied against for so long), learning all this stuff. Perhaps if that's a load of rubbish though, that should change things? What if this is all we have? My dad and I oppose each other on this view - mine is as us eternal souls, passing through, discovering and learning. His is we are finite, an experimental mutation perhaps. We are here now and that's it.

Either way, I see peace, acceptance and joy. If we're here and that's it then nothing is worth the stress. And as stress, I suppose I mean our opinion, our story about what's happening to us. I mean the longer term discomfort we experience. In that moment we feel what we feel, but if we can let it go life is so much lighter. It may still not be fun, but if we can see it as less of a drama perhaps that helps. I am mindful as I write of the luxury of my life. A single parent for years, we are not rich in ways some strive for, but we have so so much. Others less so and whilst it's easy for me to meditate, exercise and eat well, I'm aware it's not so for all.

That said, the lessons I've learnt from the dark places have helped me more than anything too. The clinging on when it didn't feel worthwhile, the hands that have helped in more ways than their owners may have known at the time, or ever, the crisis and darkness at the state of the world that I went through last year. Those times were tough. And yet a step at a time. Taking it just a moment at a time helped.

So here we are. The times around us are crazy. I confess to knowing nothing about global events for the last week. February is time for a break for me, I'm playing with a calendar of the year and February is Facebook free, fun (board games, outdoor games, drawing, creative) and fitness (daily dog walks, sometimes jogs and the 7 minute workout app most days). The mainstream news doesn't inspire me generally and I'm not engaging with that this month although I do love Positive News. And I will return to knowing what's happening once more but this resting time is bringing so much. An invitation to the simple, the everyday magic and I feel it deeply in my bones, in my heart and my soul is soaring.

The beauty of not knowing in the everyday, or leaning into the unknown, the uncertain and feeling my way, one foot at a time is bringing a certain joy. I may have mentioned The Way of the Peaceful Warrior before - a book recommended by a treasured friend, and would recommend it here. A beautiful way to aspire to live life. On my school drives into the Dales, I'm currently listening to The Fifth Agreement which is reminding me much of Dan Milman's Peaceful Warrior and it brings many gifts.

Before I go I thought I'd mention two other things I'm aware of over time which have helped me significantly, and other that I'm loving at the moment I thought would share.

• Individualised homeopathic treatment - this has been fundamental in my path to being here in this good space, and I love to help others with their challenges. When we can find that remedy that really resonates with a person, as well as sometimes helping with lifestyle suggestions and adjustments, things unfold in the most beautiful way I've seen. Walking at the side of others whilst they find their way to health and supporting them with this. I'm still to find something as elegant as homeopathy in terms of what it can bring to someone's life, and the changes that can ripple out from there. This has been huge for me in the darker times, and I still engage regularly with my homeopath. For me it's a helpful process as I negotiate my way through this dance called life :)

 

• Mindfulness. A tool we can all learn, either ourselves or working with practitioners, in groups, or on online courses. It's significantly helped me and one of my February challenges is daily meditation, either at home or in places of beauty nearby.

 

• One of the things I started doing in January, inspired by this TED talk was clearing one thing a day. Declutter is one of my missions I'm on. With our wee cottage, there's actually plenty of room for us all, but there's so much stuff. So each day, I'm getting rid of at least one thing to a charity bag/mending one thing/clearing one area. One thing a day is easy. I'm aiming for one thing from each room but in the process, I've finished a cushion that had been waiting 10 months, fixed a bell that the dog chewed off a rope (the cat used to ring it to signal he wanted to go out) - waiting 11 months, finished a bag I've been intending to make for 7 months and nearly completed my crocheted ukulele case. As well as countless other things in the charity shop pile/repurposed, sent to friends or sold. Just one thing makes quite a few things in the end!

Sending love and here's to more dancing through life with joy,

​Em x

A hug of love is my meditation for everyday in February. I like to do this with groups if I'm giving a talk, or by myself - recently I've been enjoying doing it outside. Last weekend barefoot on the grass, or this morning watching the sun rise over our local reservoir as the geese drifted on by, and watching the sun reflect in the windows of the sailing club club-house.

It's an easy and straightforward one and you can adapt it to suit yourself....

I'd love to know what you think - or see where you end up enjoying the meditation - feel free to drop me a line to em@emmacolley.co.uk.

Happy meditating!

Em x
 
If you can, stand up, making sure there’s some space in front of you for later in the meditation.  Breathe normally for a moment, noticing your breath move in and out of your body. Then take a deep breath and place your hands on your stomach. Notice how your stomach goes in and out as you breathe. And out loud, or just to yourself, keeping your hands on your stomach, say “I’m here”. Feel yourself really present, really here.
 
Move your hands upwards to place them over your heart. Breathing in, feeling your hands on your skin or on your clothes. Once you’re ready, you can say out loud, or to yourself, “I’m open”. Feel your chest expand outwards, allowing your heart space to fully open to yourself and the people and world around you. And you could say again “I’m open”. Breathing in that openness and enjoying the feeling of space.
 
Move your hands upwards to your head, one on each side of the top of your head. Breathe in and notice your hands against your hair or your skin on your head, and out, feeling your whole body relax a little with the out breath.  And when you’re ready, to say, out loud or to yourself, “I’m awake”. Feeling how alive you are here and now in this moment. Knowing that life is a collection of moments like these. You can repeat “I’m awake”.
 
Now reaching upwards to the sky with your hands above your head, stretching out your finger tips to the sky, feeling your arms reach up towards the ceiling in the room or the sky if you’re outside. Breathe in a deep breath and hold it for a second before breathing out. Then release the breath, keeping the arms stretched upwards. Either out loud or to yourself, just say “Thank you”. “Thank you for the air, for the seasons and the different weather we get to nourish us and make our food”.
 
Then a lovely big in breath, hold for a second and breathing out whilst you lower your hands to the floor, or as low down as you can stretch your hands. Here we’ll thank the earth for allowing us to be here today. So breathing in, holding it a moment and then breathing back out. Either out loud or to yourself, say “Thank you”.
 
Pause here for a moment then roll upwards, feeling your spine straighten out and feel just how tall you are, standing proud. Standing in your own space, feeling the love within and around yourself.
 
Take a moment to imagine yourself surrounded with love, like a big hug wrapped all around you and really breathe that in fully. Breathe it down to your feet and into all your cells. If you can expand that love to everyone in the room, then to everyone in your friends and family circle, your town, the county, feeling that love in the air and around everyone.  So then imagine giving the world a hug, reaching your arms around it and gently filling the whole world with love.  Feel that love, that hug and imagine people feeling the warmth around them. Breathing that in fully and really feel it coming back to yourself too. Gently, gently, let your focus come back to yourself, to the people in this space knowing that you can act from the heart with love for yourself and for the others around you. Imagine that energy coming back to you, from the world, the country, your family and the people in the house or the room where you are right now. Know that you are loved.
 
If you’re in bed then you can take a few breaths in and out, breathing that love around your body and saying thank you as you start to drift off to sleep. Thank you.
 
If you’re about to get going for the rest of the day, feel that hug around you and know you’ll have lots of energy for everything ahead of you. When you’re ready you can wriggle your fingers and toes and open your eyes. Thank you.