I've watched the hashtag campaign #metoo with a combination of horror, shame, guilt and pondering over the past.

While we're on shame - I've not found anything better than Brené Brown talking about shame - she's here on YouTube with her TED talk on it. Definitely worth a listen. There are several - do explore her work. And if you love it then her book The Gifts of Imperfection is well worth a read.

But were my experiences really all that bad? A tongue in your mouth when you'd already said no? An unwanted hand somewhere? Crying during sex because it hurt, you wanted it over but knew if said no then it cause an uncomfortable atmosphere and didn't feel worth it. Knowing you had to choose between putting up with a 2 day atmosphere or getting on with 'it'. Happy to say I chose the sulking - and then walked away from that one. Experiences when you were really too drunk to have made that decision. So yes, I guess they fit into the #metoo place.

So why the reluctance to be a part of it and post #metoo until now. Maybe because I don't like to join in? Nope that's not it. Because I let myself down? I could have said no stronger, louder, stuck to my convictions? I think that may be closer to the point. Maybe it also had to be thought over, chewed over to decide if it really fitted, and if it really was 'bad enough'.

Watching Beauty and the Beast last night, Gaston's behaviour (the hunter who is determined he'll marry Belle), which of course is supposed to be vile, made me really see how much our children get to see this is how things are, can be. Yes Belle walked away, but the other girls swooned and threw themselves at him after the displays of 'manly' behaviour'. I've been out with some lovely men who listen, care and respect, have lovely friends who listen, care and respect, so I'm not here to get on with some man-bashing.  It's not how it has to be. I've also some wonderful friends who would walk away from situations such as mine where they'd felt uncomfortable instead of let them continue. I have a hope that my strong minded daughter will be one of those people.

So what I'm most intrigued by is what can we do to change, to improve? Is it 'just human, primal behaviour'? I think the outpouring of stories is important, the acknowledgement where people might have stayed silent, the knowing, the sharing. I think also the message of respect, kindness is huge. Kindness is my current obsessional musing and I think it's underrated. Success, drive, ambition, achievement are rewarded but kindness? And to ourselves - I don't feel that is talked about enough, demonstrated enough. Those teeny simple acts of kindness can make so much difference. On my 40 by 40 - my plan of a few missions to celebrate life in the run up to my 40th birthday, my friend Katie suggested I did 40 acts of self kindness. Random acts of kindness are something we've looked at lots (and are on my list) but self kindness?! So on it went on the list.

It's been huge for me, partly in the slowing down it's given. To stop and put Niki's balm (it's not vegan, I love it and was given as a sample so non-vegans, or organic beeswax users, it is remarkable stuff tbh) on my feet at the end of the day, to put a face mask on. We could be talking less than 40 seconds. To have breakfast outside, looking at the trees and not inside looking at the things to do. To read a novel for the 5 minutes before I go to sleep and not immerse myself in work - I've read my first novel in ages just recently - thanks Katie and the lovely folk in my village who are sharing their Jack Reacher novels! I've done yoga on mornings where I've been up early enough. Going to bed and not working til late are still issues that need to be confronted, I get a plan then don't stick with it. A mission still to conquer.

But in the kindness to self, then comes respect, gentleness and compassion I believe. Forgiveness too. Forgiveness for the 'mistakes' I made, and perhaps am yet to make. Kindness for not 'getting it right'. Because honestly? We do something wrong then how many times do we beat ourselves up over it? I know it's not just me - as see clients all the time that go over and over things. Childhood things, teenage things and there we are as adults still berating ourselves. Gentle forgiveness towards ourselves is underrated.

Kindness to others flows easier I believe when our hearts are open, and forcing us to do things we don't want to is less of an option then. I wonder if a withholding of affection and kindness may lead to a need for contact which may then become inappropriate. How many rapes were carried out where physical contact had been lacking on either upbringing or later formative years? I believe humans need contact, hugs, linked arms, close touch more, perhaps more than other more sexual contact - and I don't believe we're living in a world that sees that as OK. I know when I'm in a good place, I'm incredibly tactile. It's not a sexual thing, it just is how I am. I'll plait hair, massage, hug, stroke and be there without it being anything more. 

So perhaps we can change the world one act of kindness at a time. To ourselves, to others. I don't know. But I guess it's worth a try.

With love and kindness,

​Em x

Firstly, a huge THANK YOU to everyone who signed the petition that we started last August. Life changed shortly after signing it, with news of my sister's brain tumour, and my passion for plastic and activism took a back seat as we looked at how best to support her, the specialists in the complementary, holistic medical world who would work best with her. Huge, huge gratitude to people who helped and supported all of us through that time.

So whilst the petition was less of a focus, it also caught the attention of many. 19, 224 people in total. And, more importantly in my house, it made us think. We are still perhaps, well, we are still, not doing enough towards it, though after going somewhat crazy about it all early last year - the plastic, the state of the planet, our attitude towards migration - I did and do resolve, not to go back to that place. So we still do have plastic in our house. But if I can choose an option that is unwrapped, minimally packaged, or no packaging, I will go for that one.

We have cut down our waste quite significantly since that time, we probably have less than half the waste we used to. I thought I'd share a few things that we do that may help others who are looking to reduce their waste.

I take my refillable Bodum cup out with me and ask coffee shops for a cuppa in there, instead of in a disposable cup. This doubles as making me happy twice as if I'm staying away the mugs or cups are almost always too small for my tea thirst so I get to have a decent sized mug with me to make me smile. I have re-usable cutlery (which I've dragged around with me and not yet used - so not sure quite how much of a top tip that is - though the picnic set in the car has often come into its own several times). We frequently turn down plastic cutlery offers. We have a nice collection of wooden forks acquired from I'm not entirely sure where, but likely from eco type take aways that then been washed on return home - I'll often take one of them out with me if we're picnicking or have a lunch to take to a meeting.

I take my Sigg water bottle out and about with me and use that instead of buying bottled water. We've loads of shopping bags from the supermarket and a few I made myself, so no excuses for supermarket shopping - and if there's no bag then generally my rule is we get what we can carry in our hands. I created bags to put my veg in, from an old pillowcase and with some binding I'd had since my GCSE in Needlework (A* student here), and planned to make more, and perhaps sell them, but will refer you back to the brain tumour excuse then add to it with work being busy and the rest of life interesting alongside it all. I still only have three bags from my pillowcase, and others from some linen I got to make tote bags.

I stopped washing my hair for 11 months and only used water, as the plastic bottles wasted were doing my head in (all puns intended) and whilst I did OK - kind of, I never quite felt to break through 'that barrier' and when I found unpackaged shampoo bars, I got three in June, and am still working my way through the second. I have a lot less hair now though, and you never know - perhaps could try it again ;-)

The big thing I've probably noticed is that we consider it more. I consider it more. But I'm definitely not sure I have all the answers. I recently bought vegan boots for myself and my daughter. Which aren't pineapple 'leather' - yet. Maybe next time. But I don't want cows bred and killed for my feet either. So I'm not perfect. We're not getting it 'right' all the time, just trying a step at a time. 

The petition is closed now and was delivered to the major supermarkets, without an answer in response. However I had written to several in the early days of it and they advised me, by large, that they were doing all they could and moving towards less waste. Several were mentioning that the carbon footprint of creating paper packaging was higher than the plastic. The whole thing isn't as easy as I initially, and perhaps naively thought. 

The simplest changes that I've made though have been ones I can do myself. To choose the unpackaged option. To take my own bags along for veg, still for shopping. To reject the plastic bag in shops - even when they are incredulous 'you don't have to pay for it though?' and we tell them it's not about the money.. To take the mug, the flask, cutlery along. To use from food bins where possible and buy in bigger quantities, topping up smaller bottles from the large.

​So whilst zero waste may still be largely an ideal rather than an instant reality, with Yoda's words of 'there is no try, there is only do, or not do.' we're doing a bit at a time.

Thank you for your help, support and for reading,

Em and now 10 year old Isla who wanted this petition starting in the first place. We are both grateful for all you're doing around this issue and would love to hear if you've other things you do that help reduce waste.

I hadn't realised I'd been at it 7 years until right now. I thought it'd been 4 or 5. How time flies!!

​Turns out (the internet helping where my memory failed!) from this blog, I've been over 7 years doing my 'mostly not new' challenge, or as it is now, lifestyle. By May 2011 I'd done a year of it. So now I must be a pro. 

A recent find was the LBD here, a Next dress from Age Concern in Hebden Bridge. It looks new, fits great and for £6.99 was a bargain for me and a donation for them.

When I 'gave up' drinking for a year (still a few months to go) a friend expressed concern that I was restricting things from my lifestyle, and I see her point. But actually it feels like clearing some things allows for greater freedom and clarity. Abundance of a different kind. So 'giving up' buying new. I treated myself to some lovely harem pants recently that are fair-trade, responsibly sourced and so cosy. And colourful. I love them. I'm definitely not restricting, but am aware that I am choosing more consciously. Did I really need them? Possibly not. Do I love them? Definitely. So I'm happy with that decision.

I think much of our buying may be less conscious and I'm not here to be a kill joy or tell anyone what to do just thought I'd share a little of my path. And - before I forget - to invite you to Embsay's swishing evening next week, of which the theme 'swap not shop', is celebrated. It's happening during One World Week, of which I believe the theme this year is 'Good Neighbours' and I'm really happy to be involved, especially with my love of clothes recycling.

There's fair-trade wine and nibbles and we're looking forward to a lovely evening of changing, updating, chatting and enjoying. Clothes (if they are hanging clothes) are to be on hangers wherever possible please. There's a changing room too so you can check out whether it fits before you decide if you want it.

So I started out with a year of an aim of nothing new. There have been occasional new things since. I'm not a clothing martyr. Other's people's saggy leggings don't appeal to me so I'm making my own saggy knee marks in new-new ones.

I'm fairly sure it's around a max of 10-15 new items during the last 7 years (I don't keep track - clearly!). Lots of new to me things, and less adapted as I thought I might when I started out. I've occasionally embroidered jeans, added ribbons, but mostly get things I like and keep them like that. Mostly because work is busy, life is busy and my life of sitting around crafting isn't quite here just yet. So my point being, you don't have to be skilled, just curious and open to ideas.

There are many reasons why I love doing it, one of which to cut help down clothing waste, the abuse within the industry doesn't sit well with me and I am happy to opt out of being part of that system. I think I like the not knowing too. I'm not great with fixed ideas (actually I hate having to get dressed for things if I'm unsure what I need to wear to 'fit' with a corporate picture, say if giving talks or attending conferences) so finding treasures like the LBD above on a chance wander makes me smile. I've borrowed clothes for conferences before - my day to day life doesn't need quite the same wardrobe, and that's worked out well for me. Or eBay Coast and Monsoon - great for black tie parties and occasions.

My top tip would be to know a couple of brands you like and that fit you well if you're embarking on a similar experiment - I know Monsoon, Coast, Next and FatFace sizes for items and that they fit me well generally, Next jeans work well for me and Coast/Monsoon for smarter dresses and so makes eBay recycling easy.

Anyway enough of me - come swish and swap your clothes for new to you numbers on Wednesday if you're local to Embsay, North Yorks.

Having come home from their conference yesterday, I found that I wanted to share some thoughts of my own about veterinary homeopathy.

One thing I really appreciated, especially in terms of the flak that the vets are getting from a small group of conventional vets (who seem determined to get rid of veterinary homeopathy), was the way the vets used homeopathy as a part of their tool kit. It's NOT their only tool. What they do see much of though is cases that nothing else has helped. In one case presented the dog had had every test imaginable, many, many drugs and nothing was changing the issue. Then homeopathy was tried. And, whilst it's always so great to say that it sorted it straight away, first remedies were given and nothing. Until the right remedy for the case was given, and the issue was reduced by 75%+. Still room to improve, and it's an ongoing case, but it's a great start. 

Another case, by the time they were in the vet's waiting room, they were aware it was the last attempt. The condition was worsening despite best attempts and specialist referrals, and euthanasia was a serious option. Then in comes the homeopathic vet, and things improved and improved with holistic options, one of those being homeopathic medicines. Beautiful photos to demonstrate, and owners very pleased that the dog was not to be put to sleep. Still one niggling issue remained and homeopathy didn't seem to be getting there to help that bit. So, what did the vet do? Well here they decided that they'd reach into the conventional tool kit and prescribe from that. The treatment helped their dog and it is currently in good health. They are monitoring it due to potential drug side effects, but so far all is going well.

What I loved about the last case mentioned here is that homeopathy is used very practically. It's accepted it's a tool, sometimes a great tool, but not here, and for most of the vets, a complete tool kit. They are first and foremost veterinary practitioners and they use those skills, whether that be surgery, conventional drugs or conventional advice. They do look at things holistically, take a full case and where it's appropriate they use homeopathy. 

So with the heat rising around veterinary homeopathy, current stories in the press and online, especially today with another mention of homeopathy in the Express, it seems particularly strange no one has spoken with them, the vets who actually have experience of homeopathy. One statement that is particularly poignant from today's Express, is one that I feel relates to the conference I've had the privilege to be a part of:

Arlo Guthrie, editor of VetSurgeon. org, added: “Animals can’t choose which treatment they take, nor can they experience placebo.”

To have witnessed the pain and suffering that some of the animals had come to before they came to homeopathy and the results afterwards, one could argue that conventional medicine is inflicting damage and homeopathy should be a first attempt.

From my day and a half of the conference, the insights that were shared, cases presented and vets met, there's an openness, a commitment to learning, a delight in sharing that I observed over my time there. A passion for animals, (is it too corny to say for 'all creatures great and small'?!), a love for life and living well.  It's worth reading around the topic, seriously delving into the matter a little bit further than just skimming Daily Express headlines. There is something pretty awesome to all this and my hope is that with more people hearing the word 'homeopathy' they'll actually investigate a little more around the potential.

I feel very grateful to have heard the things I've heard this weekend, seen the photos of cases I've seen, and spoken to the practitioners. Pioneers of this medical art, they have my admiration.

On a personal note, it was also interesting for me to meet vet Chris Day, who was our first contact with homeopathy 21 years ago, and John Saxton, who subsequently treated our horse for recurrent uveitis. It had been suggested we may consider removing her eye to get rid of the uveitis, a practice which I believe still happens. As it was, a homeopathic consultation, some wisdom, science and work on John's side of things, 5 white tablets, some perseverance on my dad's side (the week she was having the remedy it snowed badly and he had to walk a half mile uphill several days to deliver the remedy), and we had a horse with two eyes for the rest of her life. 

I'm sat up, basking in the sunrise and thought before I really get on with my day, I'd have a moment to reflect and share my reflections on the veterinary homeopathy conference that I returned from last night.

When I saw that it was running, and just 23 miles away from me, I thought I'd try and get along. And nothing else on that weekend for me... I was in. I did wonder whether I'd feel out of my depth, these people had all studied for 5 years at veterinary school, then done their Faculty of Homeopathy training and exams, and many of them had worked with homeopathy for 20 plus years. Not all, but some.

It was wonderful to see that my 4 years homeopathy training and 10 years almost constant studying since graduating meant that whilst some of the veterinary terminology might have been alien to me, my homeopathic awareness was not miles behind. I was not lost. Plus the atmosphere. There is something so special about a group of homeopaths getting together. I don't know what it is, it's a great feeling, an intensity, a shared passion, a love for learning (and a crazy addiction to books). It doesn't seem to matter who or where. I've camped in a field with homeopaths at a meeting, attended research conferences in 5* hotels, rocked up for a couple of days just knowing 2 people and having met 1 once before, presented at conferences, been at different registered membership bodies conferences. There is something remarkable. Every. Single. Time. Maybe it's about us being a small group in a huge pond? Not sure exactly what it is, but my goodness, if you've not been to a conference (it took me 6 years to do it) get along to one when you can, you'll not be disappointed.  

But to the material, the vets involved. One thing I really loved, especially in terms of the flak that the vets are getting from a small group of conventional vets who seem determined to get rid of veterinary homeopathy, was the way the vets used homeopathy as a part of their tool kit. It's NOT their only tool. What they do see much of though is cases that nothing else has helped. In one case presented the dog had had every test imaginable, many, many drugs and nothing was changing the issue. The homeopathy was tried. And, whilst it's always so great to say that it sorted it straight away, first remedies were given and nothing. Until the right remedy for the case was given, and the issue was reduced by 75%+. Still room to improve, and it's an ongoing case, but it's a great start. 

Another case, by the time it was in the homeopaths waiting room, they were aware it was the last attempt. The condition was worsening despite best attempts and specialist referrals, and euthanasia was a serious option. Then in comes the homeopathic vet. And things improved and improved with holistic options, one of those being homeopathic medicines. Beautiful photos to demonstrate, and owners very pleased that the dog was not to be put to sleep. Still one niggling issue remained and homeopathy didn't seem to be getting there to help that bit. So what did the vet do? Well here, they decided that they'd reach into the conventional tool kit and prescribe from there. That treatment helped and the animal is currently in good health. They are monitoring due to potential drug side effects but so far all is going well.

What I loved about the last case mentioned here is that the homeopathy is used very practically. It's accepted it's a tool, sometimes a great tool, but not here, and for most of the vets, a complete tool kit. They are first and foremost veterinary practitioners. And they use those skills, whether that be surgery, conventional drugs or conventional advice. They do look at things holistically, take a full case and where it's appropriate use homeopathy. 

So with the heat rising around veterinary homeopathy, current stories in the press and online, especially today with another mention of homeopathy in the Express, it seems particularly strange no one has spoken with them, the vets who actually have experience of homeopathy. One statement that is particularly poignant from today's Express, is one that I feel relates to the conference I've had the privilege to be a part of:

Arlo Guthrie, editor of VetSurgeon. org, added: “Animals can’t choose which treatment they take, nor can they experience placebo.”

To have witnessed the pain and suffering that some of the animals had come to before they came to homeopathy and the results afterwards, one could argue that conventional medicine is inflicting damage and homeopathy should be a first attempt.

From my day and a half of the conference, the insights that were shared, cases presented and vets met, there's an openness, a commitment to learning, a delight in sharing that I observed over my time there. A passion for animals, (is it too corny to say for 'all creatures great and small'?!), a love for life and living well.  It's worth reading around the topic, seriously delving into the matter a little bit further than just skimming Daily Express headlines. There is something pretty awesome to all this and my hope is that with more people hearing the word 'homeopathy' they'll actually investigate a little more around the potential.

I feel very grateful to have heard the things I've heard this weekend, seen the photos of cases I've seen, and spoken to the practitioners. Pioneers of this medical art, they have my admiration.

Whilst I'm here, a quick personal story. Lucy, the lurcher pictured, had horrendous car sickness when she came to us and we gave travel sickness remedies. Nothing. Still the dribble, the sickness and sometimes the poop too. Then I looked again, looked at her as an individual case, and gave Phosphorus in homeopathic potency. One dose. Honestly. I think that's what people struggle with, the fact it can sound so simple. She jumped into the car (previously she'd cower and not get in) and no more sickness. It was like a miracle, and I do get it that people struggle to comprehend. But that's it. And what a joy to travel with just a stinky dog smell (depending what she's discovered that day!), not a dribbling vomiting (and worse) wreck of a dog.

Thank goodness  for homeopathy. Again.

Not at old papers, old studies, but sat in with practitioners, saw their day to day lives, the clients they see. The ones who've been on antidepressants for years, on medication for ages, the ones who've tried everything. The ones who are hopeless. Surgical cases, eczema that won't stay away despite the strongest steroid creams. 

I don't want to sit here and pretend I can cure everything. Heck I'm not even allowed to say the 'c word' in reference to my work. But what I do see is people who return happier, calmer, more grounded, feel more 'themselves', no longer need surgery, IBS symptoms disappeared, piles improved (yup my job can be that glamorous), constipation better, eczema better, molluscum gone (within 4 days of giving the right remedy - but nothing without finding that). Not everyone. I'm not a miracle worker. But a reasonable amount. And more better than not. 

And that makes me proud to do my job. 

In the UK at the moment it's interesting times and there feels to be a passion, a driving force behind putting homeopathy down. Which in some ways is kind of OK. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and all that. And it's sort of safe shouting from a distance, sending forth insulting tweets (if you want to be called all words under the sun, it turns out, you just have to work with homeopathy!). But instead of wasting all that energy, and looking at old studies - several of which have been shown to be ineffective themselves, what about a radical approach of investigating for themselves?

To be honest, I'm not rushing to open my doors to a flood of skeptics grilling patients, but I know of homeopaths who have offered that people can sit in on their clinic. So far, to my understanding nothing has been taken up on. How about really looking deeper at the issue. What if the patients aren't lying, the practitioners aren't charlatans and people actually are getting better?

And if, as Stephan Baumgartner says in his video here, where he is discussing a recent French study and other work: 'if the homeopathic remedy is nothing but placebo, the homeopathic consultation must be miraculous because it’s even as good as the conventional treatment with pure drugs. So that would be something to explore.'

Perhaps we should. I don't think I'm doing anything miraculous though so for me whether we know how it works or not, it's mostly about that remedy reaction.

We thought it might be nice for people who were interested in coming along to our rustic retreat to hear a little more about each of us involved so we sat down and had a chat with each other. Sophie is travelling up from London to teach yoga and so we spoke to her by skype whereas Sarah and I live close by. We have a beautiful friend Aless who took the images of Sarah and I in and around the area around where we live, and images of Sophie are from her time training in yoga in Bali and travelling around the world.
 
Em interviews Sarah:
 
What are you aiming to bring to the retreat?
 
I’m hoping to be a part of opening people’s creativity, to help people explore their feelings through being in nature, story and crafts.
 
Where does your love of nature come from?
 
I grew up in an isolated, rural place so spent my whole childhood playing out in the local woods – it was my second home. That’s where I made a connection with the plant and animal worlds. I always wanted to be a marine biologist but that faded away. When I had the opportunity after having my daughter I re-connected with myself, and my love of nature returned.

​Sarah interviews Em
 
How does mindfulness play a part in your life?
 
From being a child I could feel a sense of joy in small things, probably especially in the natural world. Mindfulness as a more formal practice began for me in 2012 coming out of a relationship I decided to have a year dedicated to exploring life and doing different things. It was a life changing year and I learnt to knit, crochet, took pole dancing classes, started barefoot running, open water swimming, re-started cycling (I’d not done it since a teen). Mindfulness was right at the start of the year, and January was devoted to an online course in it, so it’s gone since then for me, and I studied it more so over the following years, doing therapeutic training and practice as a therapist and supervisor, qualifying in 2015 and been working with it with clients since then.
 
Personally, I have a gratitude practice which is important to me and when I wake I walk through the things I’m grateful for, as well as including mindfulness practice into my daily life where I can. It may be walking the dog through the woods or marvelling at the bubbles whilst I’m washing up.
 
Part of the retreat is around vegan and raw foods – explain to me what that means and why have you chosen it for the retreat?
 
For myself, experimentation with food was a part of my 2012 year of exploration and realised much more the health benefits of a whole food, plant based diet as the time went on. In February 2013 I went fully raw vegan for 6 months and loved it – I felt great and had lots of energy I swam a 2 mile race in Windermere and did my first (and so far only) triathlon. More importantly, I re-experienced the joy of creating food, which I realised I hadn’t really had for a long time. 

​Em interviews Sophie
 
Tell us about yoga and you – how did you discover it? 
 
I discovered yoga whilst at university in Chester. With deadlines looming and admittedly a little stressed I decided to go along to my local leisure centre and attend my very first Hatha yoga class. I’d heard a lot about yoga but didn’t really know what to expect. After the class I felt calmer with more peace of mind. I’d never given my body so much TLC. I was always busy doing something. It felt great to dedicate time to myself. I remember feeling slightly bemused walking home with a grin on my face. Intrigued at what the practise had to offer, I went every few weeks, eventually every three days, then I got hooked and now yoga isn’t just a practise – it’s a way of life.
 
What inspired you to become a teacher of yoga?
 
My teacher - Emily Kuser. Whilst traveling after university I took one of Emily’s classes at the Yoga Barn in Bali. She opened the class asking people to partner up with the person next to them. The numbers in the class were odd so I ended up partnering up with Emily (which made my experience much more intense). She asked one person in the pair to go first and speak continuously for five minutes whist the other person did not speak at all, just remained eye contact and actively listened. If you haven’t done this activity before, or even if you have done it a million times. It can reveal a lot. At first, it felt awkward and I didn’t know what to speak about but low and behold things that were troubling me just came pooring out of my mouth. I ended up in tears having never had someone listen so openly and intently. Her presence is so captivating, without even speaking a word you can feel so much love, compassion and support. I’ve always been known to speak my mind but in that moment I felt so raw and with suppressed emotions. In that moment I realised there was so much more to yoga than I originally thought.
 
I vowed to come back and train to teach with her one day. Two years later, I did.

​Do get in touch if you have any questions for any of us or about the retreat in general. ​

With love,

Sarah, Em and Sophie x​