7 years on. My learnings...

7 years ago life felt very different. My daughter's dad, my husband at the time had just left and I sort of fell apart. Whilst I believe on a deeper level somewhere I knew things would be ok, I was kind of hanging on in there and leaning hard on others to help me.

It was a day at a time sort of business. Not even that. At times just 5 minutes at a time. It was this Monday that I realised it was 7 years to the day, which started me reflecting on the journey I've been on since then and what I've learnt. So in no particular order, I thought I'd share a little of it.

- it's ok to mess up. I still do. I'm usually more forgiving of myself now, more compassionate towards my mistakes, but I believe now cocking up is a part of the human experience, a part of what we're here to learn.

- it's ok to feel really, really, really sad. I remember one time my daughter toddled towards me with a card pop up book and I couldn't read it to her. Things were pretty tough at times but an inch at a time I edged out.

- it's ok to see the joy in moments whilst you feel really, really, really sad. Just allowing yourself to be you fully in any moment is perfect.

- life changes constantly. Growth is life, stopping is stagnation (and not a lot of fun).

- take opportunities. They may not lead where you thought but other exciting ventures may arise as a result of them. I had a great year of life celebration when I came out of a 2 yr relationship in 2011 and tried out a different thing each month through 2012. As a result I discovered I love barefoot running, open water swimming, cycling, eating vegan food. And am not very good at the sexy walk bit of pole dancing.

- people are people and you're never going to change them. No matter what you think anyone 'should' do it changes nothing. Accepting what is is freer.

- I'm a work in progress. Expecting perfection of myself is going to create conflict. But I do want to do my best. Very different aim to perfection though, especially when I take point one into consideration. Most, if not all of these I'm working on all the time, nothing is wisdom, just the musings of me. Which leads onto the next thing...

- speak your truth. Some will like it, hear it and it will be helpful. Ofhers will feel the opposite. People may feel emotion towards you no matter what you do so it may as well be living it from your centre rather than what you think they want you to say or do. How can we even start to think what someone else wants when we often don't know what we want?

- the Moomins may have/be the answer. I thank two cherished Finnish friends for introducing me and my sister in law for kindling our moomin flame.

- if not the Moomins then it could be gratitude. Keeping a gratitude diary, doing as a friend does with 3 things each day she's grateful for, or the 100 happy days challenge, there's lots of ways to bring appreciation for the world into the everyday.

- lastly love. To act from love not fear. I believe negative acts are simply fear based acts. To expand the practices in life that open our hearts to life, to people around us.

Wishing love, joy and peace for the year ahead,

Em x