Em Colley
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Thoughts on the world, homeopathy, mindfulness and food...

A collection of blog posts - feel free to respond with your thoughts and comments - I love to have feedback - thank you!

On letting go of expectations and doing things differently

9/25/2023

3 Comments

 
This year I cancelled my birthday, and it was an absolute liberation. I love birthdays. I may have said here before, it was the only day I would ever get a rounder whilst playing rounders at school. It's always been a joyful, lucky kind of day for me. For my 40th I had an 11 month celebration, from September through to August.

This year, after something of a disaster night out as a birthday treat, I decided to not celebrate, recognising that it was the expectation of it, that it would be fun and joyful that was as much my challenge as the actual events that occured. So I refunded the price of the tickets to my boyfriend, and advised people close to me I wasn't celebrating. In a good way. I was really happy about doing it differently.

The expectations we have and also those of the world around us intrigue me. The shops are filling up with Christmas things we need to buy to decorate our homes, things we need to purchase as presents, and birthdays can be much the same. The expectation that we need to go, buy, do I'm questioning. I love to celebrate and I feel like I've celebrated September this year really well. I feel happy about it all, and that the letting go of how something should be has enabled me to feel more joy about how it is.

A friend made me the chocolate cake I'd been craving. Another gifted me a sound bath session. Another gifted me a night of her company with the intent to get something twice that didn't happen for various reasons. The driving together was a joy. My partner and daughter got me a bat that I'd kept on about wanting in our garden. Simple. Beautiful. Perfect. I had lunch out, dinner out and it seemed there was less cancelling than I had planned... but there was a lot of letting go and serious appreciating of what there was.

I feel like I'm still reflecting on the lessons learnt and I'm sure I'll attach to plenty of things in the future and need to re-learn it, that's being human I guess, but it has been a brilliant catalyst to some great experiences.

I'm in the process of changing how I do Christmas and I am LOVING that too. It's so rich and abundant with experiences, meeting people, learning and growing. In a literal sense - one of my changes is creating a wide flowering border for my parent's Christmas present. My dad had 'sort the garden' on his list and was getting a little stressed it wasn't how he wanted, so I took to going and helping out with weeding and tidying. Whilst there he mentioned he'd like a herbaceous border in a large border area. So I thought how about I could create that for their Christmas present. I floated the idea and it was a resounding yes.

Since starting, I've put out a couple of appeals on Freecycle (seriously loving that site too), and have had offers of hypericum, aqualegia, flowering sweet geranium, blue irises, peonies, cornflowers and shasta daisies so far. I figured it's that gardening tidying season so instead of them going to waste I could find a new home for them. I've met people, dug plants in the pouring rain, chatted, appreciated their generosity and been a part of the community in a different way than if I'd just grabbed a gift from a large store. It's definitely an idea to explore further and the connections and conversations that have come from my few short months of using Freecycle are really valuable to me.

I'm a fan of getting people something if I see it and think of them, but something about doing what the shops tell me never quite sits right. So I'm re-exploring how I do that. Exchanging gifts can be a joyful experience, but can also be fraught with not feeling good enough, going into debt and stress about so much of it. So I'm going for homemade, handmade, less. Experiences or doing for someone. Supporting small businesses wherever possible has been a long held intention, that can sometimes fail at the last minute but with some planning I hope to be able to achieve Christmas very different this year.

My sister-in-law aka my graphic designer is designing me a poster for a gift for me. There are so many options out there that we can do and give differently, I'm excited to start exploring more, and grateful to those happy to go along the ride with me.
Picture


Instead of a stock photo, here's a smiling Golden Retriever.

You're welcome.

Share thoughts if you like - on the smile or the blog,

With love,

Em

3 Comments
Claire
9/25/2023 08:49:51 am

I look forward to your blogs Emma. Last year I noticed how so many people around me were buying into the usual commercialised hype without pausing to think about if the recipient would truly value and be delighted by the gift. And this in part is where the problem lies for me. We mindlessly buy unnecessary crap that is shoved under our noses from early September. Four months out of the year we are marketed to in every which way possible. The debt that people go into and pressure it puts on family's is saddening to say the least.

I've often spent Christmas alone, walking on the moors with a backpack of sandwiches. What would happen if we ditched the expensive Christmas dinner and tradition we have so readily bought into and had an immersive day in nature instead? What would happen if, instead of cutting a tree down, families carried a tree to a beautiful spot and planted it? There are a thousand ways to embrace birthdays and other celebrations, yet we fail to pause long enough to consider the alternatives.

Pause... maybe that is the real gift?

Reply
Em
9/25/2023 12:43:50 pm

Love this Clare.

Pause - and maybe connection - to the land, to the world around us, to others, to ourselves?

We've a Christmas lasagne tradition and I really look forward to it, it takes the pressure off in terms of the meal, we each contribute to different bits... I've a few holly trees to plant, like your idea of planting a tree for Christmas, you should definitely get that ball rolling. A tree is not just for Christmas, it's for life ;)

Reply
Jane Taylor
9/25/2023 11:39:44 pm

Absolutely!! I've opted out of Christmas over the last few years. I love the sparkle and glitter, the happiness that can be found, yet abhor the waste. The pressure to buy something for someone just because it's Christmas, the trolleys full of food you'll never eat in a month, never mind a couple of days....not for me.

Reply



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    I'm a Homeopath working in the Skipton (North Yorkshire) area. I am also able to offer food intolerance testing using Kinesiology and advice around diet and lifestyle.
    My blog is a reflection of thoughts, collection of recipes, suggestions of self help remedies and more.

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Em Colley Homeopath
Practitioner of Classical Homeopathy
BSc(Hons) Psychology and Neuroscience
Laughter Yoga Leader
Focussed Mindfulness Practitioner

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  • Home
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    • As a Speaker
    • Food >
      • Food Intolerance Testing
      • Testimonials
      • Recipes >
        • Breakfast Ideas >
          • Banana Boats
          • Breakfast ice cream on fresh fruit
          • Granola
          • Smoothie bowl
          • Sunrise Smoothie Bowl
        • Dips, Dressings & Appetisers >
          • Carrot, Orange and Ginger Soup
          • Cheese-less cheese dip
          • Guacamole
          • Hummus (oil free)
          • Mango and Cucumber Dressing
          • Ranch Dressing
          • Seedy 'Slaw
          • Summer salad dressing
          • Wild Garlic Pesto
        • Mains >
          • Cashew Cheese-y Kale Salad
          • Creamy Avocado Noodles
          • Green Mango Soup
          • Lasagne. Scrummy, yummy, vegan lasagne.
          • Mango Spinach Salad
          • Middle Eastern Inspired Dinner
          • Moroccan Inspired Salad Dressing
          • Raw Coconut Curry with Cauliflower 'Rice'
          • Raw Curry
          • Simple, Tasty and Nutritious Romaine Wraps
          • Spiralised courgette, chopped tomatoes, celery, spring onion with an red pepper, garlic, lemon and cashew cream sauce
          • Squashy Mac n Cheese
          • Sundried Tomato Tart
          • Sweet Mango Noodles
          • Sweet and Sour Noodles
          • Sweet potato, chilli mixed veg with cauliflower and kale 'rice'
          • Vegan Carbonara with Vegetables
        • Desserts >
          • Almond butter and date toffee stacks
          • Anyone for (low fat, high carb, raw vegan) Blueberry Pie?
          • Apple and strawberry crumble with salted caramel nice cream
          • Banoffee Ice Cream Pie
          • Banoffee Pecan Pie
          • Birthday cake pie!
          • Carrot Cake Balls
          • Chocolate almond sundae
          • Chocolate and Peanut Butter Pudding
          • Chocolate Extravaganza Ice Cream
          • Chocolate Ginger Brownies
          • Chocolate Orange Cupcakes with Raw Chocolate Icing
          • Chocolate orange fudge
          • Christmas Energy Balls
          • Christmas pudding 'cheesecake'
          • Cinnamon, vanilla pud
          • Coconut Happy Bars
          • Ice Cream Cake
          • Lime Cheesecake
          • Mango and apple tart
          • Mango and Raspberry Tart
          • PBJ Ice Cream
          • Peanut Butter Banoffee Pots
          • Peanut Butter Bar
          • Pecan Date Bites
          • Plant power pancakes
          • Pumpkin Pie (raw vegan)
          • Raw Bilberry Pie
          • Raw Chocolate
          • Raw Chocolate Brownies
          • Raw Coconut and Sultana Brownies
          • Raw Energy Balls
          • Raw Ice Cream
          • Raw Raspberry Cheesecake
          • Raw Rolos
          • Raw Snickers Joy
          • Rocky Road Raw Vegan Style
          • Salted Caramel Almond Nice Cream
          • Summer Fruit Nice Cream with Mango Sorbet and Fruit Coulis
          • Super Cookies
          • Vegan chocolate chip cookies
        • Smoothies and Juices >
          • Banana Free Smoothies
          • Caramel chocolate smoothie
          • Juices
          • Smoothies (featuring the brilliant banana)
    • Laughter Yoga >
      • Laughter Yoga feedback
      • Laughter Yoga Sessions
      • Laughter Yoga Exercises
    • Leonie Dawson courses
    • Mindfulness >
      • My Children's Meditations
    • Things I love
  • Get in touch
  • Events
    • Current Events
    • Past Events >
      • A Plank a Day for HHA
      • ARH Conference
      • The Ceilidh at Christmas 2024
      • Ceilidh at Christmas 2022
      • Ceilidh at Christmas 2023
      • Homeopathy Marathon
      • Introduction to Homeopathy
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      • Retreat
      • Shamanic Ceremony
      • The Compassion Sessions
      • The Happiness Sessions
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