Resilience. Strength. And Lara Croft.

It's fair to say I'm a little obsessed with resilience. I've taught on it this year, I've gained more of it, lost all of it at times and am focussed on learning, growing and being more resilient, in particular this year, but all in all that's just a step in a bigger picture.

So when a friend made a comment on a Facebook post this morning, my ears pricked up and I said I'd love her to write something for a blog if she'd be happy to. Well, imagine my surprise to find a brilliant email from her just a couple of hours later. I was pondering creating a podcast to chat about resilience and lots more before seeing her initial comment this morning, and who knows - we'll see. But I really love what she says here and am super excited to share. 

If you've tips, tricks and thoughts on a similar line I'd love to hear. Read on!

​I love Lara
 
So, for as long as I can remember I’ve never really been good with heights.
 
I think it started from doing rock climbing at school and just never feeling safe and having a panic attack on the rocks and crying everywhere.
 
Over the years Ive kept forgetting this quite important bit of me and have found myself in some tricky situations.  
 
I like to say yes to things and have adventures, so when I find myself at the top of York Eye suddenly remembering my fear of heights as the dizzy scared nausea feeling kicks in, and I start full on sobbing I remember it all over again.  
 
The same when I wanted to get to the top of the hill to see the church that was in Mamma Mia and we had to climb these teeny tiny stairs right on a sheer drop and I was pushing grannies out the way so I could get to the top as soon as possible as I was so scared and crying.  
 
Then there was the time when the kids were playing on some rocks (trying not to pass my fear on I let them explore) and the little darlings got stuck up high and I had to go on a one woman rescue to get them whilst crying and snotting and screaming at them as I was so scared but I had to get them down safely.
 
Then the game changer happened.  I had said yes to doing a Go Ape experience (why why why???). I was fine with the harness and the climb but once up there I remembered again and I could feel myself start to panic and the tears of fear start.  Then I somehow my brain changed.  Id just watched Lara Croft tomb raider and I loved her strength and courage and intelligence and I thought, ‘I bet she could just leap through these trees’.  This was my first imposter experience. I pretended I was Lara Croft.  I knew I was safe as I had the harness on and I knew I actually did have the capability to do the challenges it was just the confidence I was lacking.  I just played a game in my mind and pretended to feel what she would feel.  Lara would feel strong. She would feel confident. She would relish the challenge. So that’s what I decided to feel.  I held my head high and actually changed my stance to be lara (I don’t look like her at all but in my head I was!).  I then just went all out and did it.  Not only did I do it, I wanted to do it well and to do it fast and to really push myself. You know what, it bloody worked!! I flew through those trees and even went down the zip drop at the end. There were still nerves there but pushed so far back they didn’t control me anymore. Lara was the main character in this and she was tough and resilient.  
 
Since my Lara breakthrough, ive done parachute jumps, held tarantulas, snakes, swam in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean (I had a crazy shark/ megladon fear here!) and just generally been able to push myself more by borrowing the Lara character.  She is now just a bit of me that I call on when I need to dig deep in a scary situation and I know I can get through these fears. This is how I worked on my being resilient.     

Ruth Kitcher-Paige

Of course, as Ruth and I chatted later, it doesn't have to be Lara for you. It could be Martin Luther King Jnr, Mahatma Gandhi, Aristotle or any number of cartoon, real or imaginary characters.

I hate being held back by fears, and love to push myself so I'm not restricted by my mind. Sometimes though in the tough times I forget this and am super excited to have this brilliant blog by Ruth to look back on and remind myself. 

Happy to feature other guest posts on resilience (or other health related issues) get in touch!

With love (and increasing resilience),

Em x