On Letting Go...

I've been musing. Ha for a change. Sometimes I feel like Carrie off Sex and the City. Not, I'm sure you'll already be aware at least if you know me at all, for my dress sense, shoe collection or love of NYC. Nope, I'm a country girl at heart, loving my winter boots*, and have a collection of clothes from charity shops, my sister and many of my own-own date back 20 years or so.
*I have the Heavenly Feet green DM like ones from last season with fleece inside, which sadly broke and happily my partner has just fixed for me in the absence of cobblers stores being open currently and a sense of pity for my cold feet.

But back to my musings. The number of times Carrie starts with 'I wondered...' amuses me, as that's something I do too. Often, out loud, in my head all the time. Wondering is good though, right? I think so, and as it's my blog, that'll do for me. Curiosity. I wonder if I can do this, try that. It's an approach I'm really fond of. What if it's all a big experiment? What if we treated it as that. To experience. There must be a link between the two. I've never thought about it before, and an initial Duck Duck Go search (yes, still trying to load Ecosia onto the Mac, but happily have it installed on the iPhone so smugly search on there at least), gives me lists of experiences I could have.. but a search on the Online Etymology Dictionary gives the results I've shared at the end of the blog. For those who aren't word geeks, just read on.

I guess the musings, when undistracted by multiple tangents, are around letting things go as the title suggests. Since reading Allen Carr's Easy Way to Stop Smoking, where he pointed out that 'giving up' is a joyless phrase of restriction and not having, but stopping is a whole different thing, I've resonated with that. I may be paraphrasing, it was nearly 20 years ago I read it (it worked). Instead of 'I'm giving up drinking', what if 'I'm experimenting with not drinking', 'I'm playing at not buying new clothes' or 'I'm trying out veganism...'. Not to suggest these things are light and frivolous and not worthy of more serious diving into, but what if the results were the same, just the feeling changed. What if the feeling was fun instead of restriction?

When I 'gave up' alcohol, buying new clothes, make up, and our latest - shampoo and soap - it's always been a 'I wonder what this will be like', a 'let's try this and see'. And that has served me. It could be because I have a somewhat playful attitude, I'm not sure, but I do think that has helped me. I'm also sure that it can be learnt. One of my feelings is that we don't play enough, we take so many things so seriously, but that's likely another tangent, another story, another blog.

I love not drinking - I was feeling bad so often the day after a glass of something, that I realised it had to go. Others can tolerate it better but I don't want to work with health and not feel good, as healthy as I can at least. I want to walk the walk. And, 3 years in this year, I'm really glad I took those steps. 

Giving up shampoo and soap has been a really interesting journey. I'm pretty sure I smell less than I did before, whilst using the shower gels, the scented soaps (even, sorry, the lovely essential oil ones). Mentioning this recently on another post, comments of people noticing odour when they feel nervous has made me think, and if I'm going into a situation where I feel nervous, sometimes I'll put a natural deodorant on. Not antiperspirant for me which is another story - and perhaps a black top or something that the body's natural sweating response might not be seen in.

Something odd I've noticed, is that before I'd wear a top for a day and it'd need a wash. Now it's generally 2 or 3 days before it needs a wash, and sometimes that's even just because I think it should have a wash now. So it's also saving on plastic, packaging and washing - saving water, and laundry products. 

What inspired us, and what I still need to read, is the book '10% Human'. It's been on my to read shelf forever, or at least since the lovely Mani from the School of Homeopathy in Stroud recommended it. My partner read it this Spring and we started discussing the skin micro biome more. How we deplete it constantly, and unnecessarily. How our skin could be healthier without all the products. So we thought let's give it a go. Being in lockdown meant work was all over the internet - zoom appointments, Skype appointments etc - so no clients to complain, or even notice my terrible smell. So we showered with just water. And waited. And waited. And still... 

Don't get me wrong - sometimes we eat something more pungent - onions or garlic are likely to be detoxed and appear more smelly in the pits... but on the whole, there really is no smell. Which totally intrigues me - how did I buy into all that marketing. A product for this, one for that. A shelf full of things to make you presentable to the world. With, of course, their carbon, plastic and whatever else footprint, aside from the impact on my bank balance. Clever, clever people. 

It's been more than 6 months now and I'm happily not looking back. Bearing in mind that we'd shaved our heads for charity in January, and again due to a lack of hairdressers in March... I started the no poo experiment - and found that is working great too. I love to stand under the shower and fully soak my hair daily - but no more shampoo needed. And it looks fine. It would be wrong not to share that when I tried the no poo with long hair it took forever and really I never actually got there. Despite persevering for months I still remember the look on my poor friend Gill's face as she tried to curl my limp locks for a conference dinner. Not easy and I ended up giving up not long afterwards. Going from zero to no poo has been way easier. Not that I'm suggesting everyone shave their locks but just sharing my journey :).

Anyway, if I've a take home to share - try, play with ideas, see what happens, challenge yourself, try it for a month or two and see, which may turn into a year, or 10 and change your life...

With love,

Em x

Experience: late 14c., "observation as the source of knowledge; actual observation; an event which has affected one," from Old French esperience "experiment, proof, experience" (13c.), from Latin experientia "a trial, proof, experiment; knowledge gained by repeated trials," from experientem (nominative experiens) "experienced, enterprising, active, industrious," present participle of experiri "to try, test," from ex "out of" (see ex-) + peritus "experienced, tested," from PIE *per-yo-, suffixed form of root *per- (3) "to try, risk." Meaning "state of having done something and gotten handy at it" is from late 15c.


Experiment: mid-14c., "action of observing or testing; an observation, test, or trial;" also "piece of evidence or empirical proof; feat of magic or sorcery," from Old French esperment "practical knowledge, cunning; enchantment, magic spell; trial, proof, example; lesson, sign, indication," from Latin experimentum "a trial, test, proof, experiment," noun of action from experiri "to try, test," from ex "out of" (see ex-) + peritus "experienced, tested," from PIE *per-yo-, suffixed form of root *per- (3) "to try, risk."