Seven Days of Falling in Love in September

So, in my somewhat typical spontaneous way... I decided I'd do a gentle experiment in September, from the 1st to the 7th. Obviously (if you know me well, at least), I'd little idea of what it might look like, and initially I thought it might be just me. Then I invited others. I knew that I didn't want it to be me directing the show, wanted a community to inspire and empower each other. And I think that's coming together. I set up the September's Seven Days of Falling in Love (and onward) group on Facebook - it is currently a public group, you're welcome to join in if you like.

I want it to be experiential, experimental - and I will design a very optional short survey to take before and after so participants (of the survey, which again will be totally optional) and I, can see if playing with this stuff has made any shifts - in terms of wellbeing/levels of joy etc. It's curiousity, not serious research, but time and again I feel that working with some of the ideas I'll share can make a big impact on our lives in positive ways.

Oooh I'll also share my sheep paths to motorways theory at the bottom of the blog for those interested. I believe it resonates with much of this in many ways.

So if you want to take part, feel free to do it in whatever way you like. Use the daily prompts and ideas - or go off on your own path, with the general idea in mind of falling in love with life, ourselves, people around us and our gorgeous planet that we are lucky enough to live with.

There's a lovely post here which might provide inspiration for you too.

I've had my morning cup of mint tea outside with a book the last few days - and seen geese on fly-bys in their V formation, bees bobbing around the flowers and - well, I love to watch the clouds drifting across the sky. Life is happening out there and it's gorgeous.

Here's my suggestion for the days - in a gentle order of Monday to Sunday - but feel free make it your own, do one every day, do none of them, play with it however suits.

I wanted to elaborate a little, and will share these on the facebook group each day for ease too.

Slowing and noticing - when you're doing anything, how present are you? I know I can rush onwards to the next thing, be planning the day out whilst I'm in the shower, thinking of getting back to people whilst I'm walking the dogs (and the list goes on). What if we slowed and noticed the water on our skin, how it feels on impact, as it moves down our body? Smelled the honeysuckle flower, noticed how a dog's fur ruffles in the gentle (or less than gentle!) breeze.

Feeling the rain on my scalp was one of my most incredible things of having shaved my head. It's amazing and 5 years on from then I still reflect back to how it felt. Now I'm not suggesting you go and shave your head, but what about noticing more how it is when we wash our hands, shower, wash our hair. Pausing, breathing.

My friend Ruth once shared her thought 'What would Lara Croft do?'. I played with that for a while and think it's epic. How would Lara Croft shower, clean her teeth... or any other personality. Choose whoever you like. If you like. Day 1 suggestion is slowing and noticing.

Appreciating - and how often we forget! Most of us have the gift of breathing, seeing, many of us have the gift of walking. Hearing Caroline Myss in Findhorn (with my friend Ann who no longer has those gifts earth-side since she passed away), say that entitlement is one of our big problems. We forget that we're not entitled to anything. Clean water, fresh air, nope. That hit home, hard, for me. And it brought in a lot of gratitude for those things we, I, can easily take for granted. Day 2 for me is around appreciating. Can we appreciate that sip of water, smell of essential oil, rose, dinner - or anything else around us - a little bit more mindfully today?

What would my most loving self do/think/be right now? - for me, this isn't always an arena I inhabit. I think we are conditioned to see the worst in a situation - it's an amazing survival instinct that will have saved us so many times. But probably not always brought us bucketloads of joy. So if we're seeing the worst about ourselves - is it any wonder we forgot to love ourselves?

My partner and I were chatting about the concept of marrying yourself the other day. I'm aware of others who've done it, and never been inspired to myself...but the idea of commiting to love, nurture, cherish til death do you part - for yourself? That's pretty awesome I reckon. His opinion wasn't quite as aligned with mine as it might have been on the self-marriage... But why would we make promises to another and not to ourselves. So whilst I'm not suggesting a mass marrying ourselves ceremony - although actually that sounds pretty fun ;) but making a commitment to honour, nourish and celebrate yourself feels a pretty great decision to me. This question (even if not 'popping the question' to yourself) is Day 3's focus.

What are your top 5 (or even 10) joys? Credit here needs to go to my friend Peter who asked me this question recently. And to him for being able to count to 10. I got somewhere beyond 27 (I estimate), gave up counting and my brain is still presenting me with things that bring me joy. They don't have to be big things. Sparkly things was on my list. And you don't need to count.

Sometimes there might not be 5, or 2. When I've had challenging times it's sometimes been harder to count the joys, and I remember reading a brilliant piece of writing from my friend Sandy suggesting gratitude practices hadn't always been helpful to her in challenging times. So as with any of these - if they don't resonate - scroll on by. But if it does,  and you'd like to, then dive in and explore.

I would question... if you have one or more things on your list - are you doing any of the things that bring you joy on a daily basis? Sometimes we forget - it's kinda crazy busy out there sometimes, and it's not always easy... but when we forget to nourish ourselves, love ourselves, is it any wonder we feel a little less nourished/loved. Maybe it's a little chicken or the egg perhaps - just dive in wherever you can.

Make friends with your body - even if just your little finger to start with…  In a world where you can be a valuable customer - what would the benefit be in helping you to be comfortable with who and what you are? You could have plumper, bee sting lips (thanks to the lovely Julia for sharing her lip gloss secrets years ago - that was a fun experience!), more eyelashes, longer eyelashes, more clothes, a shinier watch, bigger boobs, a smaller bum, smaller boobs, a bigger bum... so where on earth is the motivation to love us just the way we are?

I think I need to jump in and mention the North East Skinny Dip at this point. It's one of the most gloriously joyful events I've ever taken part in. I was there the first year with maybe 152 or so people  I don't recall who suggested it - Leslie, Vic or Amber... or myself, but we did it together. The whole thing was utterly magical. We drove up, arrived late and knew we were up super early, so used the tent as a groundsheet and slept under the stars. Cold. Beautiful. And a display of shooting stars - plus a massive meteor (that I missed as I was in the loos changing into pjs). I was mad at my friend Vic for a bit for borrowing my hat (I could have said no, but...) and wandering around all night in his budgie smugglers and my lovely beanie whilst I shivered in my sleeping bag. Vic passed away sadly - I'd do many things to lend him that beanie again!

But the point I want to make is none of that - sorry reader!! Getting changed, on Druiridge Bay, for the skinny dip is amusing. People are discreetly changing, hiding those bits we've learnt aren't socially acceptable, squriming under towels... and then the time is ready to run... a mass of exquisite human joy running towards the sea, historically on, or close to, the September equinox. Squealing, laughing, giggling - nervously, joyfully. It's one of the most divine sounds I'm grateful enough to have heard. Truly alive to life in that moment. And then you hit the North Sea. Cue more screams, giggles, celebrating. Then it all goes on in reverse. Except everything is different.

There is an appreciation in a different way of our glorious bodies. A feeling alive. A stripping away of inhibitions. A standing around chatting whilst wearing nothing. Yes nothing. Clearly I don't speak for everyone but I've seen this phenomena time and again over my separate visits... Or even if the cold has got to you, dressing is less squirmy, more casual. There's an acceptance that I sense. A celebration. Taking photos, honouring those bits we shun, aware of our 'muffin tops' no more, just a gorgeous being in whatever shape or form, not squeezed into those jeans that'll be OK if we just lose just a few kilos...

If the only bit you like is that spot to the left of your knee, then appreciate that. Appreciation is a little like flowers I think - feed it and it'll grow. You never know what might happen next.

A section of the North East Skinny Dip painting - painted as a present for me by Ann Devlin (from an image first published in The Guardian, 2012)

What if you did one thing that pushed your comfort zone a little today? Sophie Jones is a marvellous inspiration, introduced to me by my daughter, who has taught me some of my best and hardest lessons over the last 18 years. I kept sending Isla inspirational stuff (inspiration, I realise is so subjective...) that I thought would make her smile/be encouraged etc. She was unamused generally, but sent me Soph Jones in return. Sophie is advocating rejection therapy - pushing her comfort zone - in gentle, and more challenging ways.

Check out her instagram to see her getting a role in a West End musical, wandering Brighton pier dressed as a cow, ordering coffee via her sock puppet, appeared on This Morning talking about it all and more...  Or have a look at the link:

It's joyful, sometimes silly, often thought provoking. And I've heard from at least one person who has 'done a Sophie Jones'. I totally love it!!

Can you dance today - even if just a little bit inside? I often think of the Gabrielle Roth quote...

In many shamanic societies, if you came to a medicine person complaining of being disheartened, dispirited, or depressed, they would ask one of four questions: "When did you stop dancing? When did you stop singing? When did you stop being enchanted by stories? When did you stop being comforted by the sweet territory of silence.

When did we stop? And then realise we didn't feel great. One of my very favourite things is an impromtu kitchen dance, especially with my daughter. We climb on the chairs... she used to dance on the table but has got taller (and we've a less stable table in there now), pop on some tunes and enjoy a time of almost dancing on the table, for 10 minutes, an hour or an evening. Last time it was prompted by her arriving home in a hoodie with 'Players only love you when they're playing' on it. We had a fab Fleetwood Mac night.

It'd be ace to hear what makes you want to dance, makes you smile... and even more ace for you to play it for yourself today. One of my favourite getting ready tunes is this... especially if I'm by myself in a hotel room or my bedroom at home. It could be worth saying that it totally celebrates the human form (i.e. the lovely Jen is naked in sections of the video, in a very beautifully natural way). It's one of my absolute favourites.

So there we go! That's the Seven Days suggestions :) I'd love to hear from you if you're diving in with these, or other ideas - and how it is all going for you. Thanks so much for reading,

With love and joy, Em xx

Lastly... the sheep paths to motorways idea. I'm intrigued by the idea of neuropossibility. Most people I guess call it neuroplasticity... but that sounds so science-y (which I love and for me resonates with my degree in Psychology/Neuroscience... but isn't for everyone). For me neuropossibility offers us hope. Our brains can be encouraged, supported, enhanced even. We take on board the idea we have to exercise, do weights to help support our bone health, eat well... and many of us leave our brains just to do their thing.

So the theory... that our neuronal networks are like sheep paths. I live in the Yorkshire Dales and sheep abound. If you're walking across moorland occasionally you lose the footpath, and sometimes end up on a sheep trail. Often you can get just one foot in front of another.

We don't all come out of childhood equal. Some of us have more difficult starts than others, so that's going to influence the size of the path, but when we start out, originally, my idea is that most of our pathways are sheep paths. And the paths we use more often - say in a difficult family environment, perhaps the fear or anxiety path - that gets wider. The more we take that path, the easier it is to see, the quicker it is to destination fear. Any path can get quicker, easier to go along. Joy, happiness, sadness, pain, regret, guilt... the more we focus on doing something, the better at it we get. It's a marvellous thing. And can be a challenging one when we're doing something without thinking about it.

Our sheep paths can grow to footpaths, bridleways (for non-outdoorsy folk, you can take a horse down there - the clue is in the name, or a mountain bike), B roads, A roads and motorways. It's what you use more often that grows. And you get quicker to that destination - whether it be love, joy, gratitude, fear, panic or whatever else.

When we start to realise we have a choice in how our brain operates, I think this is where freedom comes in, or at least begins to. Sometimes we need help and support - I love having a support network, and am also grateful my daughter has grown up with one. Now she knows when her osteopath would be helpful, when she'd benefit from a massage, seeing her homeopath, visiting the GP (which is fairly rare - but absolutely firmly on the team), when the dentist is great, or even the holistic dentist (if you're looking for one, we love Wonder of Wellness in Huddersfield).

So here's to the love motorway...