Falling in love... on why I think it's an answer... and an experiment invitation

I'm seeing 8 year olds with anxiety about the state of our world, 80 year olds with the same. And I hear them. I do. And also I question the narrative. Not that humans aren't doing damage, over using resources etc - of course that seems to be very much the case. But to live in fear every day? At 8 years old. Or at 80.

I chat about this to others, and those older than me remember living in fear of nuclear attack, those older still can tell me the noise a bomb makes as it descends from the sky, and describe the sound of air raid warnings. And I wonder. What's the gain to be made by living in fear?

Or in love?

I guess we stay smaller, less expanded in a state of fear. And whilst I don't want to get into ponderings of a political nature - it's so not my arena of expertise - I do wonder that it's easier to control a fearful population.

I also wonder how much we attach to things if we've been told they're doomed anyway. I've heard stories of amazing, inspiring women being scared to hold their babies because they were told they might not make it. What if that is happening with our world?

I've long thought that if we fall in love with someone/something, we nurture them. We fall in love with a person; we often want the best for them, amongst other elements. I fall in love with people so often and am so grateful for that. One time, in June 2012 I fell in love with someone swimming in a lake - it was so beautiful watching his movement in the water, like they were one. It's rare I see anyone swim like that. I still remember it clearly now, 13 years on.

Living in a state of love brings many benefits - both physiological and psychological - to ourselves and those around us. I believe it's a much deeper state than gratitude (I think it's pretty much all there is if I'm honest - love and not love - we can call that fear if you like), though I do wonder that gratitude can be a way in. To marvel at the state of the world around us, may encourage us to fall in love with a field, a blade of grass, a flower.

I've recently done a spot of guerilla gardening, and created my affectionately named 'lady garden' which has wildflowers blooming. It's the second small addition to a large space that is wild, but regularly strimmed - unless there's really obvious flowers in it. Creating a garden is one way of bringing a little bit of joy. I also regularly forget to water my hanging baskets and have the least green fingers of anyone out there. So if I can do it...

Falling in love can be simple - with the sensation of water on our skin, a moment in the shower, the feel of a breeze across our face. It doesn't have to be big, glamorous, diamond encrusted. I think it's all the more precious if it's not.

I keep thinking about babies and their apparent joy when they discover their hands. How they seem to gaze in wonder. What if we had more wonder in our worlds? Would we care for it - and ergo, ourselves more?

When did we fall out of love with these glorious bodies that we were so amazingly gifted? When we were told our legs were too (fat/thin/curvy/bended...) or our nose too something else. Or maybe we forgot as the world around us is so filled with distractions. Vouching only for myself, I can share that falling back in love with ourselves is an entirely wonderful (and not without challenges) thing to play with doing.

My epiphany came from a moment with a neighbour - who isn't very - or at all - in love with me - who one time shouted 'there it is again, that fkn narcissist'. By this time our dramas together had gone on long enough, I could ignore and continue sitting doing my work reading on the bench outside our house. But I carried a question with me as I went into the house a bit later.

What would it be like if we really loved ourselves? If I really loved myself. And I realised that she had said some pretty horrible things to me over the time. But never, never, as horrible as the things I'd spoken to myself. What would it be like if I really loved myself? How would I walk, talk (including to myself), be?

I forget plenty, but I think that's great for our learning - and re-learning and re-learning again. If we love something we take care of it. How could we love ourselves - and those around us, including this gorgeous planet we get to live with - a little bit more?

When we're in love, I think we expand - I'm sure those who can read energy fields would observe this - I'm not that clever. But I feel an expansion, a space, a joy, a look at the world through smiling eyes. Just to remember back to a time we felt all those and more must be a great thing for our bodies to feel nurtured by.

If you made it this far - thanks for reading! I'm going to play with Seven Days of Falling in Love in September. You're welcome to have a go too should you like. It's kinda spontaneous and there's no fixed plan - I'm going from the 1st to the 7th - the Virgo in me is happy about that. Of course continue for a day - or the rest of your life... whatever works. And let's play with wonder, joy, love - for ourselves, a leaf, a grain of sand, a stone, a person or animal in our lives, and focus on what that means to us... but most of all fall in love everyday in little or big ways.

With smiles, with smiling, laughter and love,

Em xx